My Grandmother Mary Jo Woodson
The last 4 years of Grandma's life was very difficult. My father Robert Rivers Humphreys Jr. or Bob as he was called, was her son and only child and succumbed to small cell lung cancer that had completely spread throughout his body in October of 2017. Grandma was alone and it was decided Grandma would return to Kentucky with me until her things could be sold and/or moved by my sister to live with her in Louisiana.
Grandma eventually moved to Louisiana living for a time with my sister. Grandma did not like the rainy weather and would often visit Florida with her sisters, she had to be around her family, as many of them as possible. While staying in Florida for about six months it became increasingly apparent to her sisters that she was no longer able to take care of herself unassisted due to her age and problems with her shoulder. There was an idea that she should be placed in an assisted living facility at which time I traveled to Florida. I discussed this idea with her and she simply cried and said "No, I just want to go home!" I understood what my Grandmother meant by that. She missed her life, her independence and my Dad and Grandfather. Grandma and I decided the best thing for us was for her to come home to Kentucky permanently and I cared for her in my home.
NOTE: Grandma was profoundly hard of hearing due to years of working in the General Electric factory in Plymouth, Florida, where they manufactured Christmas light bulbs. Grandma and I had developed our own sign language and she was very good at reading lips especially her family members lips since she already knew their voices, pitches of speech and dialects. When Covid-19 masking requirements were required Grandma felt very isolated even among people.
I was able to capture Grandma and her favorite recollections on video as I interviewed her about specific things. She really enjoyed story telling as did her Father. Those videos were posted on social media to share with everyone and they are treasures now.
Grandma suffered with COPD from years of smoking Marlboro Reds which she quit when Great Grandma passed away but, the damage had been done. Exacerbations of her lung disease would put her in and out of the hospital during the last few months of her life along with a shoulder that dislocated monthly. I had literally reached a point where my business and my life was set aside due to caring for my Mother along with Grandma, both living in my home. I enlisted my sister's help with Grandma. Grandma enjoyed and needed the help.
Grandma received the Moderna vaccine for Covid-19 in March 2021. While in the hospital during the first week of April 2021, for a COPD exacerbation she received her second dose. Unfortunately, the nurse assisting her pulled Grandma's shoulder out of socket and she was moved to the nursing facility across from the hospital for extended care. (Note: After Grandma's death the hospital sent me a bill for x-rays and placement on the shoulder that they dislocated. If you know me, you know I addressed that tactfully.)
The experience of spending the weekend in the nursing home was very traumatic for Grandma. The presentation by the home Representative we received before sending Grandma there was a total fabrication of what they offered us as a family, including the lack of routine hygienic care of Grandma by the nursing staff. Grandma was a very beautiful woman and her hygiene meant everything to her. The nursing center denied visits because of Covid-19 and placed Grandma on a two week quarantine without notice. Grandma was very disturbed about this. This was the straw that broke the camels back. Tuesday morning, April 13, 2021, my sister and I arrived at the center and removed her from the facility, bringing her home with Hospice Care. Hospice Care was set up and everything arrived for her that day. My sister and I carefully charted her intake and output and medications, making notes about her care.
My mother and I sat with Grandma the night of April 19, 2021 and it was time for comfort care medication, which was started a few days before. (Grandma's shoulder was out of socket and the Doctor was not sending her to the E.R. to have it put back in place and began comfort meds.) I told Grandma, you know, its time for your comfort meds and you do not have to take them if you don't want them...she looked me in the eyes and said, "Yes, I want them please." I don't know why I asked her that time after all the other times of keeping her med schedule without question. I gave her the medications and sat down in the recliner next to her bed and Mamma had came in and sat in a chair. We chatted quietly as Grandma rested and I stared at her chest counting her respirations. I counted 13 in a minute. I was relieved and after charting her meds. We sat there for 30 minutes until she was asleep and heavily medicated, I might add...
As I turned the lamp off and walked towards the door my sweet Grandmother belted out "Good night Dahlin!" I smiled and said Good Night Grandma, love you...
We enjoyed so many things together and comforted each other through the rough days. Grandma insisted on doing the dishes until the last year of her life. I was tired and Grandma was aggravated losing her independence but, we loved each other so things just happened to us as we all lived in my home, where, she peacefully passed away during the night on April 20, 2021 at the age of 94 years. Her last words were that of a southern belle, and that was exactly what my Grandmother was a true blood southern belle..."Good Night Dahlin!"
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| Mary Jo Woodson Humphreys Barr 1926 - 2021 |